Necessity of blending causes naught but madness sending.
As a residing student of the University of Southern Mississippi in Mississippi, my goal has always been to examine the human psychology. Like all adolescents and young adults, the time I experienced in these periods exposed me drastically to egocentrism and a renewed infatuation with one’s self, ranging from a zit in your teens to the path one will ultimately choose as they maneuver throughout college and the work force. Therefore, as my first document of true work in my life, I am starting on the research I have the most experience with. Discussed within are the techniques, theories, methods, and results I have culminated on fear-based research in adolescence and young adulthood. By fear-based I mean, the change in behavior or thoughts in response to a socially induced flight instinct. That statement alone says a lot about my technique as a psychologist, student, and human. I have a hypothesis that fear is socially learned, leaning towards the nurture side. At the same time, I believe biology and the sympathetic nervous system exist for a reason and that emotions do not directly correlate with how one’s biology “feels” at the time. As I sit and think about what to write next…I suddenly realize, I’m thinking about what I write. Why do I think? Because I want to put out a respectable paper? How do I create a successful paper? One has other experts look at and accept their research. So why want to put out a respectable paper? To prove one is right? Hubris, in the non-sex allegory, is what strikes me as fascinating. So, let’s go one step further into this illogically logical argument. If emotions are learned, and hubris is the downfall of man, might a lack of emotion and feeling have the contradictory value? That is, All A are B = All H are D. Might a change to Some A are not B = Some H are not D? That is, if some emotions are not learned then some hubris is not the downfall of man? Hypothetically, on a sociological note, we could then, as a human race, try to find the “good hubris” and use it to our advantage to become prosperous as a planet. This is what gives an agnostic hope for all of those who can’t fathom how atheists or those who’s lives aren’t concerned with “God” still has motivation for anything in life. This in turn may create prosperity, not an anarchic world believed to possibly take place if the world were full of “non-believers”.
At this point in time, I would like to point out that, unlike my title, this book is not going to be exactly what it seems. All things I mentioned in the first paragraph will be included, however the true purpose of these words is for the exploration of all levels; from foreign language, domestic trade, & government, to art, music, history, sex, culture, etc. There are so many scopes in this world that so few people choose to peer through. Some prefer non-fiction sports memoirs, some fictional folklore. Some prefer Chinua Achebe, others Dennis Lehane, while some of you reading this won’t know who either are. This world is not formatted or fit into a specific arrangement. As a philosopher, I tribute my book’s lack of order to the disorder of life. Try to keep up; I have done studies and research with thousands of people in over 5 continents. Do people still count Antarctica when talking about population and research? I mean, it can be misleading to say only 5 of 7 continents studied when one of them is uninhabited. Someone might close their mind entirely to the idea simply because of the lack of 100% validity…we all know one of those people.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Mating Patterns
The most common form of mating in mammals is polygyny. However, the issue arises when society evolves and with evolution comes availability to openly call for change. A majority of "Western women" and eastern women, respectively demand for one male mate with whom to spend their lives, and fully expect him to keep only her for his life. This is clearly a necessity she has the ability to demand; we are not in an evolutionary crisis, therefore our value as men goes down. However, with women gains come gains for men, and this leaves us all with a power-hungry controlled world with the beauty of evolution.
I take myself for example. I have been seeing this married woman for quite awhile. The sex is good, attention great, and attachment indescribably painful. I am a man who is at least half run by instinct through evolution. The most common way an animal with my biology has is to be with multiple women; not spending my entire nights with her. I may have logic in this point if it weren't for my loving the attention she gives me. I love sex and the narcissistic streak runs rapid through my veins, so reproductive need is conveniently seen as less useful.
I can get everything I want that satisfies all pleasure centers, but to do so must come at the cost of between 6 and 8 hours a day with her. Such a large margin of the day, it only seems fair I should get all I want, right? After all, I'm going against my instinctive nature.
I take myself for example. I have been seeing this married woman for quite awhile. The sex is good, attention great, and attachment indescribably painful. I am a man who is at least half run by instinct through evolution. The most common way an animal with my biology has is to be with multiple women; not spending my entire nights with her. I may have logic in this point if it weren't for my loving the attention she gives me. I love sex and the narcissistic streak runs rapid through my veins, so reproductive need is conveniently seen as less useful.
I can get everything I want that satisfies all pleasure centers, but to do so must come at the cost of between 6 and 8 hours a day with her. Such a large margin of the day, it only seems fair I should get all I want, right? After all, I'm going against my instinctive nature.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Happiness
Throughout life, we all search for true happiness. Whether we're the artist picturing the perfect piece or the hopeless lover hoping to find their opposite, yet equally perfect partner. Even the philosophers argue over what contends as true happiness.
Weed, women, money, possessions, work, interests...all of these things we all stumble upon in our lives and have to make the crucial decision whether they may or may not be the root of our happiness, be it past, present, or the desired future.
Since 2007 I haven't been truly happy...bottom line. As far as money, I learned some lessons wasting my high school earnings and learned I can rely on no one, including family. Ever since my first love slipped through my arms through the dreaded inaction phase, my life has been hazy. A mix of weed, narcissism, and a Depression have spiraled me towards a wormhole. I've been acting for almost 3 years, showing people from North America to Europe to Africa how much I enjoy life and happy I am...nothing but lies. I am a psychologist, its my job (an excuse, mind you) to stay disconnected.
Complete disconnection is impossible. To fill the void of a warm body, I've been a user and abuser of many a female. Filling holes of married women, fragile women, and perhaps worst of all, manipulable women. All beautiful, 7/10 women had their beauty in looks, the others in some trait I have used and manipulated to my advantage. Alas, this is the past...I am writing this at such a late hour because the containment that lies within me is so great that I'm trying to procrastinate writing what confuses me so much.
Weed, women, money, possessions, work, interests...all of these things we all stumble upon in our lives and have to make the crucial decision whether they may or may not be the root of our happiness, be it past, present, or the desired future.
Since 2007 I haven't been truly happy...bottom line. As far as money, I learned some lessons wasting my high school earnings and learned I can rely on no one, including family. Ever since my first love slipped through my arms through the dreaded inaction phase, my life has been hazy. A mix of weed, narcissism, and a Depression have spiraled me towards a wormhole. I've been acting for almost 3 years, showing people from North America to Europe to Africa how much I enjoy life and happy I am...nothing but lies. I am a psychologist, its my job (an excuse, mind you) to stay disconnected.
Complete disconnection is impossible. To fill the void of a warm body, I've been a user and abuser of many a female. Filling holes of married women, fragile women, and perhaps worst of all, manipulable women. All beautiful, 7/10 women had their beauty in looks, the others in some trait I have used and manipulated to my advantage. Alas, this is the past...I am writing this at such a late hour because the containment that lies within me is so great that I'm trying to procrastinate writing what confuses me so much.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Age:::Subconscious or destiny?
It is said that one should thank old age because many never have the chance to become older. As far as relationships go, I have a hard time distinguishing whether the company we meet are picked by us subconsciously or if the religious aspect of "destiny" applies. Let me explain.
In my case and many others, there are very common trends. For most people, relationships with friends, significant others, etc. is in a general 2 year-ish age range. However, some people show characteristics for always being with older people or always being with younger people. For example, throughout my life, most of my friends have been in the same age group, give or take 5 years. However, in all of my intimate relationships, the woman has been at least 5 years older, some even 10.
As life progresses and I gain more experience, I notice the friends I keep are also significantly older. Excluding uni and those I'm forced to coerce with, the ones I choose are always significantly older. However, I'm not a huge fan of age; in fact, I put little emphasis on age at all. Therefore, its not like I'm looking for older people and surrounding myself with them...but I always end up befriending others and later finding out their age difference.
I discuss the difference between subconscious and destiny as two separate entities, but mind you, I'm not claiming they couldn't be two in the same. I am an atheist, so naturally my opinion is drawn towards subconscious. I feel that without knowing, people are naturally drawn towards others they're most compatible with and for some, it just happens those people are older/younger/the same age. But how would you subconsciously know? How would your subconscious determine age without truly knowing? Are our senses that acute or is my greatest fear coming true?...that destiny plays a role. Maybe somehow, we're all drawn towards those who we need to be around. Mind you, we all stray and have the occasional opposite of what we'd normally choose...and those turn out to be the best learning experiences; but for a majority of us, it stays relatively even.
Its not only myself I relate this to. I've examined many people and I find this trend everywhere. Think of your life...what has your trend been? Do you have a trend? Do you believe subconscious or destiny decides who we meet and become attached to? Or is it an illusory correlation and completely random?
I've tried to squander the illusory correlation by looking up age demographics. However, they only record ages 15-64 in the same group. As I see these statistics, I realize that, to the government, we're just niggas of the working class to make them money. Why else would they record preschool, grade school, older, and working class...working class being the largest variable with almost 50 years of discrepancy. That's three out of eight life stages skipped over with one statistic!
In my case and many others, there are very common trends. For most people, relationships with friends, significant others, etc. is in a general 2 year-ish age range. However, some people show characteristics for always being with older people or always being with younger people. For example, throughout my life, most of my friends have been in the same age group, give or take 5 years. However, in all of my intimate relationships, the woman has been at least 5 years older, some even 10.
As life progresses and I gain more experience, I notice the friends I keep are also significantly older. Excluding uni and those I'm forced to coerce with, the ones I choose are always significantly older. However, I'm not a huge fan of age; in fact, I put little emphasis on age at all. Therefore, its not like I'm looking for older people and surrounding myself with them...but I always end up befriending others and later finding out their age difference.
I discuss the difference between subconscious and destiny as two separate entities, but mind you, I'm not claiming they couldn't be two in the same. I am an atheist, so naturally my opinion is drawn towards subconscious. I feel that without knowing, people are naturally drawn towards others they're most compatible with and for some, it just happens those people are older/younger/the same age. But how would you subconsciously know? How would your subconscious determine age without truly knowing? Are our senses that acute or is my greatest fear coming true?...that destiny plays a role. Maybe somehow, we're all drawn towards those who we need to be around. Mind you, we all stray and have the occasional opposite of what we'd normally choose...and those turn out to be the best learning experiences; but for a majority of us, it stays relatively even.
Its not only myself I relate this to. I've examined many people and I find this trend everywhere. Think of your life...what has your trend been? Do you have a trend? Do you believe subconscious or destiny decides who we meet and become attached to? Or is it an illusory correlation and completely random?
I've tried to squander the illusory correlation by looking up age demographics. However, they only record ages 15-64 in the same group. As I see these statistics, I realize that, to the government, we're just niggas of the working class to make them money. Why else would they record preschool, grade school, older, and working class...working class being the largest variable with almost 50 years of discrepancy. That's three out of eight life stages skipped over with one statistic!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
16/6/10 Speed of Life
Its said that life is short....statistically speaking, this is an inaccurate statement. Life is long, and we are reminded by this almost every day. We become bored constantly and are always on the hunt for something new and exciting to occupy our time.
Every person I've had the honor of knowing seems to be in a hurry in life. Life is short, so we all need to be constantly moving and exploring new things because this world is full of infinite information. This is what they say, and only the wise come through and explain the necessities of enjoying every nuance to life. Naturally, these are the more seasoned individuals.
I write this because I can't help but feel all my activities I am currently partaking in are there to fill a void for something I don't have. Right now is summer, but here is my list of "to-do's" on a daily basis.
Portugues, Spanish, Russian, Francais, Japanese, Chinese, MCAT, Physics, 2 books + 1 French book, music history, and reading/following musical scores. Along with this academia is Capoeira, part-time lifeguarding, and trying to keep up with my YouTube accounts and friends from around the globe.
I can't help but feel I am stretching myself too thin to perfect any of these disciplines. My life is revolved around balancing free-time and working time...now I can't help but feel as if my constant obsession with scholasticism, not my lack of activities to perfect, is what is holding me back from the very goal I obsess over.
Alas, I am off to purchase some illegal drugs and drown away my thoughts. Human thought and wanton, the ultimate downfall of man...knowing is half the battle; acting upon such knowledge is the niche humans rarely perfect.
Salam.
Every person I've had the honor of knowing seems to be in a hurry in life. Life is short, so we all need to be constantly moving and exploring new things because this world is full of infinite information. This is what they say, and only the wise come through and explain the necessities of enjoying every nuance to life. Naturally, these are the more seasoned individuals.
I write this because I can't help but feel all my activities I am currently partaking in are there to fill a void for something I don't have. Right now is summer, but here is my list of "to-do's" on a daily basis.
Portugues, Spanish, Russian, Francais, Japanese, Chinese, MCAT, Physics, 2 books + 1 French book, music history, and reading/following musical scores. Along with this academia is Capoeira, part-time lifeguarding, and trying to keep up with my YouTube accounts and friends from around the globe.
I can't help but feel I am stretching myself too thin to perfect any of these disciplines. My life is revolved around balancing free-time and working time...now I can't help but feel as if my constant obsession with scholasticism, not my lack of activities to perfect, is what is holding me back from the very goal I obsess over.
Alas, I am off to purchase some illegal drugs and drown away my thoughts. Human thought and wanton, the ultimate downfall of man...knowing is half the battle; acting upon such knowledge is the niche humans rarely perfect.
Salam.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
A Day in the Life of a Lifeguard
I must say, this day has been quite an experience. My time is currently spent life guarding for the summer, and the most interesting things are seen and people met.
Nature: There was a turtle in the drain of the pool. Within the center of the pool were a handful of frogs swimming quite carelessly. When dusk arrived, a Canadian goose decided the pool, with two handfuls of children swimming inside, would be an excellent landing spot! It was quite hilarious to me, because everyone was freaking out so naturally I had to take matters into my hands and escort the goose to the lake.
People: During my years as a lifeguard many different characters have been made. Yesterday I met a man who came with his wife, kid, and two grandchildren; he told me his granddaughter couldn't swim because she had her first period...I couldn't help but wonder why is he giving me this overwhelming amount of not need to know information. There was another female who whooped the skin off her kids butt for not listening. There was another mom who disciplined her kid by saying, every time she misbehaved, "If you keep doing it, we're gonna go home." She said this at least 10 times...I understand now how kids learn to manipulate parents so easily.
I just spent the day in the sun so my inspiration for writing out my hundreds of other personal experiences with people is a wee bit low. As a psychologist, the thousands of people I've examined have shown me that, in general, humans are basically all alike. My most exhilarating findings have been with the ones who are slightly different...but alas, yet to meet a person who is more than 10% different from another I've met. I hope to find that unique person one day, whatever country or universe they may be from.
Nature: There was a turtle in the drain of the pool. Within the center of the pool were a handful of frogs swimming quite carelessly. When dusk arrived, a Canadian goose decided the pool, with two handfuls of children swimming inside, would be an excellent landing spot! It was quite hilarious to me, because everyone was freaking out so naturally I had to take matters into my hands and escort the goose to the lake.
People: During my years as a lifeguard many different characters have been made. Yesterday I met a man who came with his wife, kid, and two grandchildren; he told me his granddaughter couldn't swim because she had her first period...I couldn't help but wonder why is he giving me this overwhelming amount of not need to know information. There was another female who whooped the skin off her kids butt for not listening. There was another mom who disciplined her kid by saying, every time she misbehaved, "If you keep doing it, we're gonna go home." She said this at least 10 times...I understand now how kids learn to manipulate parents so easily.
I just spent the day in the sun so my inspiration for writing out my hundreds of other personal experiences with people is a wee bit low. As a psychologist, the thousands of people I've examined have shown me that, in general, humans are basically all alike. My most exhilarating findings have been with the ones who are slightly different...but alas, yet to meet a person who is more than 10% different from another I've met. I hope to find that unique person one day, whatever country or universe they may be from.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
L'argent et qu'il tue
Butterfly Lovers Violin Concerto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Egmjy8BbME&feature=related
This is not news to the human condition nor is it a personal revelation. Throughout life I have noticed intrinsic motivations for a passion sometimes turn a love into a career. A la meme temps, you see people every day whose love has become a career they detest. The necessity of balancing passion with necessity in life cannot be understated. Our passions are what drive our intrinsic engine to continue working towards the utterly impossible perfection. What we realize necessary for a life in a capitalistic world is what brings us down to Earth and forces us to focus and logically feel out certain options (wouldn't life be great if we could follow all our passions at a moment's notice?).
Right now the only intrinsic drive towards studying medicine and useless university classes is my motivation towards learning music and achieving a viola. I have all the means to learn from expert musicians (have already started) at little expense to me except for one issue...the money for buying a viola. As a university student coming from a lower-middle class background, expectations for me have already been met...but I feel importance must be placed on worldly knowledge, not just the "bar". On the one hand, I could spend a few hundred dollars on a poor viola that I would max out in a few months, tops. On the other I could achieve one that will last years (around $1,000), but I would be forced to obtain another part-time job while carrying 18 hours of credit on my back. Rent, electric, etc., moving out of the dorms reduced the needed loans but it also increased the amount of work necessary to maintain life independently.
Unless some unknown variable arrives, it looks like my musical plans will be on hold this fall. I don't want to make this a certainty at the moment, because one never knows what will change on an hourly basis, let alone months from now. I hope I will be able to achieve my viola and continue my passion because I honestly don't see how I can stay motivated any longer in university; its fun until you realize how much time and money you spend when 80% or more of the information you won't use in your career. If the education system is about "worldly education", why necessitate classes I've taken in high school while cutting money for arts and language programs that will truly broaden students' horizons on both a communicative and global level? Oh yeah...money (but that's a rant for another post).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Egmjy8BbME&feature=related
This is not news to the human condition nor is it a personal revelation. Throughout life I have noticed intrinsic motivations for a passion sometimes turn a love into a career. A la meme temps, you see people every day whose love has become a career they detest. The necessity of balancing passion with necessity in life cannot be understated. Our passions are what drive our intrinsic engine to continue working towards the utterly impossible perfection. What we realize necessary for a life in a capitalistic world is what brings us down to Earth and forces us to focus and logically feel out certain options (wouldn't life be great if we could follow all our passions at a moment's notice?).
Right now the only intrinsic drive towards studying medicine and useless university classes is my motivation towards learning music and achieving a viola. I have all the means to learn from expert musicians (have already started) at little expense to me except for one issue...the money for buying a viola. As a university student coming from a lower-middle class background, expectations for me have already been met...but I feel importance must be placed on worldly knowledge, not just the "bar". On the one hand, I could spend a few hundred dollars on a poor viola that I would max out in a few months, tops. On the other I could achieve one that will last years (around $1,000), but I would be forced to obtain another part-time job while carrying 18 hours of credit on my back. Rent, electric, etc., moving out of the dorms reduced the needed loans but it also increased the amount of work necessary to maintain life independently.
Unless some unknown variable arrives, it looks like my musical plans will be on hold this fall. I don't want to make this a certainty at the moment, because one never knows what will change on an hourly basis, let alone months from now. I hope I will be able to achieve my viola and continue my passion because I honestly don't see how I can stay motivated any longer in university; its fun until you realize how much time and money you spend when 80% or more of the information you won't use in your career. If the education system is about "worldly education", why necessitate classes I've taken in high school while cutting money for arts and language programs that will truly broaden students' horizons on both a communicative and global level? Oh yeah...money (but that's a rant for another post).
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